About Healthy Boundaries
Once upon a time,
A very, very, long time ago – about 4.3 billion years ago to be exact, Life began.
It all started with a few fat molecules that grouped together
to form a circle – the first boundary ever formed, creating, for
the first time - and “inside”, and an “outside”. A cell membrane.
It's a bit funny nowadays that anything with the word “fat” on
it makes us shiver. But apparently they are not only good for us, they are also
super important, holding our borders together. Without them life would never
have gotten started.
What's beautiful about cell membranes is that they are so simple and complex at the same time. They consist of two really long chains of those fat molecules, (called phospholipids in biology text books), that automatically line up so they'll have a side that likes water (hydrophilic side), facing outside, and a side that doesn't like water (hydrophobic side), facing inside, thus reinforcing the borders even more, not letting things in, just by being present, without any wasted energy.
But still they have to let some things in, right? Food, news messengers from the outside, gifts...
So once in a while, on that membrane, there are some gates, or channels, allowing good stuff in, bad stuff out, guarding the boarder in the most efficient ways.
Some of these channels simply work on natural concentration comparison, or diffusion. Too much food, Love, energy surrounding us on the outside? It come right in! Too much waste on the inside? Comes right out. While other gates require energy, simple electric currents, to perform. This boundary is created in a natural way and is a selectively permeable membrane, meaning things can enter or leave us, but we have a natural selective process to decide and control what goes in and what goes out.
We can be selective and gain control as to what can enter into our lives and what can't. Just as my cells won't let harmful bacteria, viruses or parasites in, and know to tell them apart from desirable things that are very much welcome inside, so can we, in our life, control which relationships, which people, which energies, which situations can enter our space and which ones are harmful, undesirable and are not permitted inside.